Depression has made me want to shrink myself, hide away, avoid all of the phone calls, emails, and text messages. Depression has robbed my creativity, my motivation, my confidence and strength. But I can’t hide. The stigma surrounding mental illness is begging me to be brave. Stigma harms the 1 in 5 Americans affected byContinue reading “Let’s End the Stigma”
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In working toward finding mental health stability while simultaneously facing the highs and unrelenting lows of life, the creativity and motivation to write can be hard to access. I find great joy in writing, yet the apathy of mild depression stagnates my motivation to seek out joyful activities, as binge watching TV on the couchContinue reading “Back to the Roots: Mental Illness Superpowers”
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With the uncertainty of when the COVID-19 crisis in our country will resolve, making plans is difficult. My husband, friends, and I have canceled an international trip twice, for which we spent months planning—something I’m sure many can relate to. The evenings and weekends are blank squares on the calendar, except for an occasional hikeContinue reading “Shifting a Depressed Brain Toward Gratitude”
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Perfect—a word that carries a weight too heavy to sustain. Perfect is a crutch I have used for much of my life. Imperfect and broken on the inside, I dared not expose the bruises to the outside world. I feared rejection, embarrassment, isolation, and shame. What I didn’t realize is that by denying myself theContinue reading “Finding Beauty in Imperfection”
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Here I am, floating above the real Ali, watching myself being told the rules regarding silverware—pick it up before you eat, return it when finished. I am being told the rules regarding visitors, shoelaces, shower limits, and staff checks every 15 minutes. I am thinking to myself, what am I doing here? How did thisContinue reading “Let’s Talk About Suicide Again”
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This morning we wake up to a gloomier and more frightening world than we lived in yesterday, as the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg reminds us that our basic rights are being held in a tight squeeze by the government, in which the very people we elected to represent our voice seem to careContinue reading “Staying Hopeful in a Polarized World”
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Making the decision to get pregnant was not an easy one, nor was it one that my husband and I took lightly. Many mental health disorders have been diagnosed in my family, including my father, and relatives on both maternal and paternal sides of the family. And obviously, I myself have bipolar disorder. In additionContinue reading “Risk. If Only I was Writing a Guide to the Board Game…”
Here I sit, on a beautiful Sunday morning, outside on the floating ‘zen’ deck my husband helped me build. The air is still cool. The birds are singing lovely melodies. The warmth of the sun peeking through the trees is warm on my face. I am surrounded by the green leaves of trees in myContinue reading “Leave Me Be, Anxiety!”
We often grieve the loss of loved ones, but have you ever considered that we grieve the loss of our health? Coping with the ‘loss’ of my mental health due to lifelong mental illness has been complicated. I am still working toward reality acceptance and processing what this ‘loss’ means for me, my loved ones,Continue reading “A Bump in the Road is Just That”
I am ready to get back to work tomorrow. I’m excited to see my co-workers, get out of the house, see some kiddos. I am not worried about getting through the day tomorrow, or the week next week. So why is the voice in my head threatening me with You’re not good enough and YouContinue reading “Depression is a Liar”
Mental Illness is My Superpower